Overcoming Sexual Addiction
By Ed Young
Picture in your mind, if you would, your college dormitory room. Can you see it? Now just imagine, if you would, that it has been four months since you've done anything to clean up your room. That's probably the average cleaning cycle for most college rooms...and to say it would be a mess is an understatement!
In 2 Timothy 2:20-22 the Apostle Paul tells us there are two kinds of vessels. There is a vessel that is pure, and there is a vessel that is impure. There are two kinds of lives: a life that is pure, and a life that is impure.
Here is my question to you today: What kind of life do you have? Is your life full of the debris, garbage, and stench of impurity...of sexual addiction? Or is it sexually pure?
Now the latest polls show that over 25 percent of Americans have some kind of sexual addiction. And that includes those who profess to be Christians. What I am talking about is something that has grown to epidemic proportions in our sex saturated culture.
What is an addiction? I agree with one definition that an addiction is an illicit appetite that demands to be satisfied...but once it is satisfied it doesn't rest.
Addictions often start innocently. First, there's just a thought, and then there's the act, then there's the habit, then there's lifestyle, and then there is the addiction. And before you know it, especially and particularly in the sexual area, something will get its hook in you, and take you further than you ever dreamed you would go.
Sexual addiction includes things like homosexuality, incest, voyeurism, sex with prostitutes, viewing pornography (which is rampant now through the internet), cyber-sex (which is an on-line sexual act simulated now through computers), telephone sex (which today is a 100 billion dollar business), pedophilia...and the list just seems to go on and on.
As I travel the country, it is clear that an incredible number of people are living lives of sexual addiction - and they are paying such a high price.
Perhaps such an addiction has a hold on your life...or someone you know. If so, let me show you how you can get out of that trap.
The secret is found in 2 Timothy 2:22:
Therefore, if a man cleanses himself from these things, he will be a vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work. Now flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.
The first step is to make a decision to change. Notice that Paul says, "IF." The Holy Spirit can convict, but He can't do what only you can do, and that's to decide to change. It is a personal decision.
If you decide to repent and turn from sin, then God will bless you and your decision. And you will be able to move forward in the next three steps which are so critical.
1. Flee youthful lusts. What is Paul saying? Choose the right track. Youthful lusts are the wrong track and will only lead you to a destructive lifestyle.
2. Pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace. Not only do you need to get on the right track by fleeing youthful lusts, you need to choose the right target, which is Jesus Christ! He supernaturally...and He alone...can change you and change your appetite and change the cycle that has led you into this captive lifestyle.
3. With those who call on the Lord from a pure heart. You have to choose the right team and leave behind those who would tempt you to go back to your old lifestyle. You need to surround yourself with godly, sanctified people who can help you stay the course.
My prayer for you is to break free from any sexual addiction which might have you in its grip today. And to know God's design for sex within the context of marriage...and to experience this most wonderful creation of God as He has intended.
Are You Ready To Change?
by Dr. Mark Laaser (taken from his book, The 7 Principles of Highly Accountable Men)
Have you ever wanted to change something in your life? You may have wanted to start a new and healthy behavior or to stop an old and unhealthy one. Maybe you have wanted to start exercising or to stop watching so much TV. Or has it been more serious, such as wanting to start a deeper spiritual time of prayer and Bible study or to stop a destructive addiction? Have you been starting or stopping but frustrated because you have been unable to sustain the change? The apostle Paul puts it this way in Romans 7:19, "For what I do is not the good I want to do; no the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing."
I have had to start and stop many behaviors in my life. As a recovering addict, I have experienced many addictions I have needed to stop - sinful sex, nicotine, caffeine, and food. I have also needed to start healthy behaviors - exercising, eating healthy, maintaining my male friendships, and practicing spiritual disciplines. In this book, I would like to share with you the seven principles of accountability I have learned that have continually helped me with those changes.
Change is a process and often takes longer than we think. For many of us it is a lifetime journey. To achieve true change, a person must be accountable to others to make that change. I would therefore like to share with you what true accountability is all about. Over the years, I have seen many people struggle with addiction because they don't fully understand the foundation of accountability.
There are two sources of these seven principles. The first source comes from the wisdom found in most addiction recovery programs. In essence, whether these programs are secular or Christian, they have built their core structure on the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Here is a short history of AA. In 1935, Bill Wilson was on a business trip to Ohio. After years of struggle with alcoholism, he had finally found sobriety through a rather remarkable spiritual experience while hospitalized. Now, at a hotel in Ohio, he found it hard to pass by the hotel bar and not go in. So Bill W. (as he is known by millions) called every local pastor and priest until one finally told him to go talk to the town drunk, Dr. Bob Smith. Dr. Bob had not yet been able to stop his drinking. When they met one fateful night, Bill asked Bob to help him by simply listening to his struggles. Bill W. was not there to preach at him. He w as there desperate and needy. As they talked throughout the night, the essence of what was to become the twelve steps program was formed. That first AA meeting has led to thousands of meetings around the world and millions of lives saved from the ravages of alcoholism.
Each in their own way, Bill W. and Dr. Bob, had been influenced by Christian principles. Those of us who have really strived to "work" the steps and who are Christian, know that they are totally consistent with our theological understanding of who God is and what the Bible teaches. As you read and seek to digest what I have to teach you in this book, you find the twelve steps are a strongly influential source.
The second source, which will really provide the structure of this book, is from two Old Testament sources. First, the book of Nehemiah, at least the first six chapters, contains the truths of the seven principles of highly accountable men. Second, the story of the exodus of the Jewish people out of the land of Egypt will illustrate the core essence of how people change.
As you read this, let me offer you several words of encouragement and instruction. Those of us who have tried to change a behavior and often failed are full of shame. Shame is a very biblical emotion and in a healthy way can remind us that we need God in our lives. Shame can also be a very deadly emotion when it becomes the feeling that we are bad and worthless persons, perhaps even that we are a mistake. When any of us experience difficulty in changing, we feel a confirmation that we will never get it right. Ultimately, shame leads many of us to believe that not even God can love us.
Nothing can be further from the truth. The Bible is clear. We are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Ps.139:14), God loves us so much that he sent his only Son to save us (John 3:16), and there is no sin that can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:39).
In truth, you can change. The first part of accountability will be to find those around you who might remind you of God's truth. Let me be the first: "You are a wonderful child of God and change is possible."
